Children's Day

I remember what it was like being a kid.
In someways I still am
I remember being happy then.
In someways I still am.

For me back then an ant hill was an architectural wonder
In some ways it still is
I used to think  of my dad as a superhero
In someways he still is
My mother would always make everything better
In someways she still does

My wants were small, but ruthless
Somehow they still are

My idea of the world was magical
In someways the idea stayed

I believed in happy endings
Sometimes I still do

The playground was always exciting
This I guess will always remain

Being a kid , I felt everything would always turn out right
In some ways it did.

I sought friends I would keep for life
In some of them, I found friends for life

My toys were my companions
On some lonely days they still are.

Cartoons made my day
Some of them still do

Back then it wasn't about the iPhone, it was about the ice-cream.
Even now sometimes its about the ice-cream

Back then I believed in the goodness of people
Sometimes I still do

Not a lot has changed I guess
But somehow it has....

For the children in all of us. I'm glad they are in there...to sometimes still show us the way.

Psst....

Words are often suppressed by everyone. Especially by those who think with their head.
They may have a good heart, but perhaps a smarter mind. Their minds are editors and edit out words that seem unnecessary. A screening process if you will.

Then there are those who speak from their hearts. Without thinking and perhaps less careful. They mean well, Intentions are swell and yet more often than not they are banished to holy hell.

Speaking comes with many prior clauses and conditions. It isn't easy to say what you feel always. Perhaps most relationships would go kaput if you will. One has to choose his or her words wisely. Its the fine balance of your tippy toes that stand at the edge of a creaky wooden plank overlooking a sea of sharks waiting to devour you. We are editors of our potentially shocking conversations and we are liars and we cherish understating and use white lies to maintain our peace. We the speakers of our varied undertones.

We the mute. We the silent
We bravely think, we rarely speak.
We mouth rehearsed lines from a screened pre-approved script
Are we cowards?
Or are we smart?

In my silence I will hold my courage
And upon your silence, I will count on

And in our silences I will assume that life is a cloud bubble
with careful font.

And as we continue to live the way we are expected to, it must be disappointing for our unspoken words
Words that would perhaps change the world. May be not for the better. But different

As i mull over these 'pointless' thoughts
I invite you to mull over yours

One thing's for sure. Ours is a noisy silent world.

Dirty Rap

Smack I whack her head
Hmmmm was all she said
Do it right
And keep outta sight
Don't bob for apples
Later I'll buy you snapples
I've got so much to tell you
My life comes with a terrific view

Everyday I wake up to an uplifting beat
I wear shorts to avoid the heat
My mind is racing
My legs are pacing
A feeling of anticipation
Much like constipation
I see people scampering
Happiness hampering

Fat people blame the food
No  I don't mean to be rude
Shoot a gun in a way it ricochets
Launch your assault with trebuchets
Everyone has their defense
Just an observation, No offence
Its about power
We conspire while we shower
In the end its always about who controls the remote
Don't believe me? lets put it to vote

Spread I say
Open up, make way
Lets lay some brick
Make way for the prick
It'll be over with a scream
No not your life, your silly wet dream
I could grab you
Pull you along the floor
Or if you like I'll pull you up
Bang you against the door

Live a life that would inspire others
This and other good things, we learn from our mothers
Silly magicians pretend to hover
At least until some one blows their cover
Pretenders we all are
Age, sex, race no bar
Our cum soaked hankies reminders of an induced good time
Also can be confused for putrid slime

How do you choose to look at it?
Life is more than  the slow movement of a bouncy tit
My perception creates reality
Fellatio is not an abnormality
Grabbing her hair, I urge her to stop
Her hair reminds me of a filthy little mop
You give decent head
Hmmm... was all she said

She put on her clothes
It was fun she said,
I pretended to listen
Her eyes began to glisten

Come I said, I'll show you to the door
She wasn't in a hurry, I just couldn't stand her any more.

I cut a string

I watched her go

I cut a string

I watched her shine

Far and bright

I watched her smile

Haunting sin

I watched her refection in rivers deep

I dive in

I watched her fade

In the clouds within

I watched her with one recap

I have an inbuilt memory reel

I cut a string

I cut a string

I cut a string

She watched me go

My time, to win

The Beauty of being the Beast

I recon we've spoken. If we haven't, boy do I have something to say

I've come to the conclusion that what's right is what feels right.

As long as it doesn't affect yourself and others too much negatively..its ok to do what you want to do

You know what's right? Scarlett J. She's right. Ryan Reynolds may have a power ring, but he doesn't have her anymore. Poor Bastard. At most he can conjure up a green version of her.

That aside everyone gravitates towards the tried and tested. Everyone wants foolproof. No such thing.

Fools are a dime a dozen. I figure since fool proof isn't actually fool proof , might as well try new things...but in moderation. That's the only way its healthy. Makes for a good bumper sticker don't it? yuh.

I cringe at wanting something too badly. Its an ugly feeling.

Its ok to want things. Normal. But its important to remember there's a whole lotta things

The world doesn't stop.

There are a lotta options out there and plenty of experiences to be had.

So sometimes you have to let yourself go and enjoy it.

Its ok to be happy. Its ok to try new things. Its ok to really live.

It is ok to surprise even yourself. So if you find yourself doing something you thought you would never do.......its ok. Enjoy it. Relish it. Your life. You choose.

I like being happy.

So I've decided its not always about the beauty in things.

Sometimes its about the beast :)

Fight and Flight

Its a different life on a different day

Its the hot sticky month of May

Such a romantic past

A novel, right from the start

Nothing holds me captive

A free bird to all who can see

I can leap and glide

With the evening tide

Such a glorious moon

Shines and marks the coming of June

I forbid the wind to blow me away without my will

I do what I can, I do with skill

Punish the flaws, no dead roots in the way

The night is calm

As is my skin

My cool breath adds to the atmosphere

Helps its form

I am vegetated in awesomeness

I have tasted her

The present. She's glorious. Ever forming

In this formation I live.

Shes like a pregnant woman

I implanted her

Now i take care of her

So I leave a promising future

My will is to fly

I will and you will watch me

My will is to fly, this time without baggage

My will is to fly, this time lighter

My will is to fly, this time to soar

My will is to fly

Who says you need wings.

Previously on smallville........

Ever since I understood the concept of superhero....I have loved the greatest of em all 'SUPERMAN'.

So it was natural that 10 years ago when I was merely 14 and piss in my pants excited about everything ...that I would be excited about a show that was devoted to telling the story of the transition of a farm boy into the worlds greatest fictional superhero. I remember eagerly watching the very first episode and going 'WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW' in my head. I was thankful for the invention of television. I know I know I sound like one of those 'super' geeks at comic conventions (which reminds me that there are no comic conventions here) god damn it. Any way the point is yes I started watching the show cause it was about SUPERMAN. But you know what the funny thing is. They don't even utter the word superman until the very last episode of the series. The whole time every fan I've known waited for ten seasons to watch clark kent to finally become superman, but along the way you know what we realised ....we realised that the cliche line 'Its the journey and not the destination' makes a lotta sense. I saw clark grow up on tv while I grew up as well. Smallville comforted me in ways inexplicable. Because every one knows Superman always comes thru. Always makes the right choices. Always morally correct. But but but but...we saw in this show ..how he completely fucked up on so many occasions along his journey in becoming the man of steel

He was selfish, arrogant, had his heart broken, he even showed off, was too aggressive sometimes, lost control, got jealous. All human emotions. All the things we've felt. And this made every fan feel closer and gave us the ability to understand that all of us are capable of all the wrongs. But in the end its our choices and our will to grow and to realize the goodness we are capable off is what sets us apart... And of course the actual action of doing good. For ourselves and for others.

Thank You smallville.

nietzsche- 'So who are you, Man or Superman?'

Placid skies and romantic spies

So I told her, I said.. I'm the best out there.

The best you got.

Then someone said...'did u ever consider that may be it isn't the best she wants'

My skin is burnt

I've come back with a body full of lasting memory

A memory which an outsider , if he got a preview would seem like a perfect story.

I wonder, back when I saw it all falling into place if I ever wondered that someday I may cease to want it formed.

I did want it, no doubt. I loved the feeling, theres evidence.

But I wonder , out loud... may be it never formed cause it would be wrong.

It would be wrong that it happen, even if at a point in time...or make that a long period..it seemed perfect.

But like she said man... may be ideal isn't what its cracked up to be.

But I needed this.

It came. To whack me hard.

It came to shake me up.

The skies they conspired with the spies to make a setting perfect for the play

They followed us. They prompted us. They meddled cause may be a dosage of meddling was required.

And today they ask me....

boy , what now?... are you finally through?

Is it over? Is it done?

As I sighed, I said follow me and find out

The Decade of Love and Loss

There's no combination of words ,I could put on the back of a postcard,

 No song that I could sing...But I can try for your heart,

 Our dreams, and they are made out of real things, Like a shoebox of photographs,

 With sepiatone loving, Love is the answer..

 At least for most of the questions in my heart , Like why are we here?

 And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?

 It's not always easy, And sometimes life can be deceiving,

 I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together

- Jack Johnson

'May be I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts,

And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face...

And I've always lived like this...keeping a comfortable distance..because none of it was ever worth the risk....

And that was the day that I promised, that I would never sing of love...if it does not exist'

- Paramore'

Hiatus

Farewell. For now.

Thanks for reading.

For Japan

Japan. Our prayers and support are with you.

May you heal from this, recover and rise again.

The Mime speaks

Actions speak louder than words.

Everyone's heard that. But there are some people some annoying people...for whom the doers will do. But they are just deaf or blind or both. They see you jumping for them, they see you fighting for them, they see you protective of them. They see you crying for them. And they stare at you apathetic wondering why you are twisting your body into knots they thought did not exist. Because these knots even the scouts weren't taught. These knots are proof of a special and significant effort and contribution which has perhaps deserved applause or atleast a pat on the back or a nod. Who cares about people and their acknowledgment?... no one at least that is until they are deprived of it. We are all drama queens. And clowns. We spray water outta the flower on our colorful shirts and create a circus with our own personal chaos.

But nobody listens to a clown. The sounds of their own laughter drown out his words.

And nobody sticks around to talk to a mime because its useless.

But what when the mime speaks?

Is it then not worthy of attention?

Isn't it?

Is it?

................ It is, Isn't it?...........

????????????????????

And then here's another interesting thought.....what would finally make a mime speak?

Then...........suddenly

Everything's changed. I know change is the only constant.

But I believe everything has changed. Completely now

No room for the past, except in memory.

Things that meant the world....seem like they are part of alien worlds, distant worlds.

There are times when I stop running in the day and in the silence I recall the memories of a past rich in history.

I feel like the slate has been wiped clean. Indeed this feels like the second part. A sequel.

Like bang! everything begins again. But different. With different people, and different music and different relationships. The past remains trapped in the old box*. Locked perhaps for reference

The new is out there.. dug its feet in the ground and ready to pounce on me like I'm an unsuspecting prey. But I'm better prepared. Ready to take the leap myself.... and that is the most important part. The fact that I'm ready to take the leap....

And when we collide...the new and I...my hope is that it makes for a great story.

My will is determined that it will be

The Ironic lives of dreamers. Stage 1. Second Act- 'This World'

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The rumbling was my scream*)

The Ironic lives of dreamers. Stage 1. First Act- 'Alternate'

We sat beside a pond together

Holding hands as the sunlight gently grazed us and we dipped our feet wet

I looked at her mesmerized and I think she saw in my eyes as she looked into them

My version of her.

She seemed beautiful, I think even to her

We heard a noise and turned around.

And he was there my loyal old friend.

He waved hello and the others followed

They all had good things to say

The mood seemed perfect as the music filled the air

Someone had got stereo

We sat together like flowers in a garden

Traded stories back and forth

One spoke of love and the other of gain

And together happiness plagued the air

Then suddenly a rumbling we heard

Funny we'd never heard anything quite like it

We even craned our necks to see

But all we saw was a peaceful road..

One that looked promising and treaded with dreams

We ignored the rumbling and together we sat for the longest time

And we drank together and cherished every sip of our wine

The area seemed perfect. As always.Like always

And then again came the rumbling....'

But we were to happy and in a trance

as we all stood up to dance

I had her. She had me. I pulled her close

We had each other. We realized together,

It never took us time you see.

We had them too....our closest friends

Like a family we loved and together were free.

My life the peaceful dream.

The House of Mirrors

I could tell you how this parody works

Joke about it, until you choke

Pale face you appear, like you've seen a ghost in the mirror

See what I did there? You can take it anyway you want

Make it stop now

Ooh what a rush

Make it work now, this shits got flush

Damn didn't know it works out like this

Once upon a time there was supposed to be a happily ever after

Then they came and ruined it, the trash talkin martyrs

So when I stare into your eyes you seem confused

Like the bright lights of Vegas in your blood infused

Miserable teachers , teach misery

Mel Gibson's a jackass , who knew?

Bravehearts can be portrayed and enacted to fool you

So I call upon you to a house of mirrors

Can you bear yourself staring back at you?

Will you open your eyes and look around

Or will you like me try and break them all?.. smash them silly?

Would you curse at yourself until you whimper

Or would you be a coward and go easy on yourself?

To move along you gotta answer to yourself

The others are there, just for the show

You have yourself to face. You. Your judge , jury and execution

This carnival and its ruckus

Everyone roams in the circus bus...

But I call upon you to the house of mirrors,

Where you and I and me and us and those different versions of us....

We'll all have a chat.....

But don't worry......

We'll carry bricks just in case

Valentine's Day

Somethings you can only paint

Somethings you can only imagine

Somethings fit

Somethings enter into a deal to create perfection

Somethings bring music to silence

Somethings bring silence to chaos

And somethings however old the story, have always been worth writing about.

For years I've sat like an eager child at the edge of the chair

Waiting to jump up in hurrah!!

These fleeting moments with images of perfection my eyes have been forced to see

Seem at times fading and sometimes glowing

Either way it has my attention

Follow your heart is promising advice

And alas also so tempting

Ive always done that mind you

My heart and I with hope for company

There have been several fleeting moments that I have experienced

That perhaps make it all worthwhile

There are tiny events that everyone could miss...But I will notice

Because its relevant to my heart

In the matters of the heart, nothing is to be taken lightly

We are here for a short while ...and even if we don't find a happy ending

If you have the capacity to love....then love.

Love with everything you are and love completely, without regret

Love like you want to.

Love like you choose to.

Its been long. Its been true. It must all be real. This world I've created.

It's been a while, My reason to smile

You must be real.

You must be true...

How else could I explain it.

Too good to be true

It's been long. Its been true. There's no justifying.

You must be real.

Unreal you.

My mind has a body of its own

Spooky times.

As if frozen in a spiraling dimension heading toward inconsequential abyss

I see a world matted with grey finish.

Its an incredible feeling watching out of a window and seeing a world spinning carelessly at a pace that makes the ground we walk upon shaky and unstable

We live each day hoping our respective lives amount to something essential

For ourselves and our need for self-actualization. Maslow that smart bugger.

Im a looney in that order. My mind is a constant chaotic realm in which a crazy person or warped entity seeks solace in a cocoon fancied by a dreamer.

I find it difficult to share the outside world, with everyone else.

One because people are annoying. I hate them.

Two because I am people. So I need other people to fulfill my social needs

Man is a social animal. Yuh, thats right.

Im pretty comfortable with myself. So I can spend enough time with myself and not miss the world.

For the world of course I have John*. For those of you who understood good. For those of you who haven't read my previous posts never mind. Think of it as a coping mechanism.

I feel relieved because I have this outlet at my disposal

It needs to come out somewhere I suppose.

Perhaps if I spoke to people about my ideas, they'd throw me in a straight jacket

I can only reveal so much

It wouldn't be healthy if I became a tad bit passionate in a conversation and let myself go.

I am not trying to create a mystery about myself. No I am not trying to intrigue you.

I have no such ambition. But I definitely am a street cat that sings on the fence.

And as I carefully avoid the pots and things that you throw at me to stop me from singing or meowing...

I find that I manage to evade with surprising ease.

Rise. Shine.

There are somedays when nothing significant happens

And yet you wake up the same way, and somehow something's different

I think to truly appreciate your self you have to first loose or be ready to loose everything

And this is the important thing- Be ok with it.

There are days that feel like eras and moments that feel like lifetimes

When you are truly looking for yourself, you will not quit until you find yourself or at least a certain version of yourself.

Everyone I believe is a mystery . Especially to themselves.

We can end up being whatever and these are a result of our choices.

Our choices come from our own perception of reality, influencing factors and our own idea of our potential.

Do we truly know though? Do we truly know what we are capable off?

Why should we limit ourselves?

Why not keep looking?

Why be content or satisfied?

True the real world puts fences up for us. We are restricted in many ways.

We have time and resource constraints. But I still think we can do more.

Why not push ourselves to be what we are truly capable off ? Why not go the distance?

How badly do you want something? And how much passion are you going to go after it with?

These are important questions I have started asking myself

Its good to ask questions. Because without questions...no one really thinks of answers

I rejoice in the fact that I have realized that my potential is limitless

and more importantly undetermined. I have to prove only to myself. I want to be all I can be ....only for myself.

Call me selfish. Call me crazy.

Call me what you want.

This boy is waking up.

From the deepest slumber there is.

Fairy tales are over.

But the magic has only begun.

The Perfect Storm

We were caught and thrown

Twisted and blown

Hail and thunder striking in turns

Splat, bam, kaboom

A perfect storm its been

I remember it like yesterday

When I saw you walk toward me

That was the calm

Then as we spoke

The rumbling began

It began to rain

We ran for cover

Took shelter, but in vain

The wind blew with outstanding force

Just as our eyes met

The nearby window banged against the wall

And just as the shards hit the ground

We stood there facing one another in a trance

Tug and pull

Inside, out

Lightning soon

Then after a while I touched you too

Twisters formed and waltzed with the gale

The fury they brought

Dust in our eyes

Visibility gone

But hands together

I could feel your breath

Saw your eyes closed

I followed suit

The wind brought the rain...

It hit us hard

Our hands clasped tightly...

I pulled you toward me

You came and you stayed

But the hail bruised us silly

The twisters came too... spinning uncontrollably

I felt you leave my grip..

I held on with all my strength

Then we broke

Separated.... and you were gone

I smashed against a tree

And as I held onto the bark

I saw you spiraling away

We were close

We were together

And now were separated

And in that moment

That painful pause...The future seemed unreasonable

The night seemed starless

The ground marshy

And everything crumbled

What choice did we have,

We never recovered

It came for us then....

The Perfect Storm.

Lullaby for Batliboi

There's a girl i know

Cool as snow

She runs through the day

She's made of clay

Her form magnificent

Her laughter consistent

I write a lullaby for this child

Who's heart is wild

She's a thinker this one

Oodles of fun

Big girl pants

She lives in the city

Has big plans

All bundled up in her kitty

Creative perhaps

But in between naps

I wonder when she dreams

Is the world more magical

When she wakes up...is it an escape..a sabbatical ?

Perhaps she's free at mind

But what of heart?

There's been more to the girl right from the start

She moves on a different plane

Her rhythm is new

Not many can keep up, only a few.

She looks great in shades

She calls a spade a spade

She's funny to the bone

Humor in the zone

I could tell she's a spitfire

A free spirit or longing to be

But perhaps thats not for us to know...not for us to see

So i close the door behind me

As she shuts her eyes gently

A whole day ahead of her

A world of possibility

But tonight she rests

And dreams of the best

And as a smile spreads across her face

The curtains flutter..to keep pace.

And in the silence of the night

She becomes one , at peace .

What a sight :)

Because I promised I would :)

A Vagabond's Tale

Traveling at night beneath stars that gossip

Withered leaves on grounds collective

Flask to hip tied tight with trick rope

The Vagabond trots along with optimistic hope

Hat on head

Mind on bed

Heart red

He gathers the world as he moves

He takes in sights, first bites of new food and new fragrances galore

People fascinate him and yet he finds he is happy being an observer

because people always let you down

Being an outsider is like comfort food

His mind has whispers probing him to be part of the carnival

But he's never been to fond of the act

And then there are the clowns that wear creepy colors

Too loud for his taste

The future as he lies on open meadows seems naturally abundant

Not because of gypsy promise...

But he trusts in the magic of the world

And the power of will, which like his flask is tied...but this to his heart

And as he walks over the hill,

Alone and vary he looks down at the city's skyline

Almost as if he misses it..

Being a part of something is always enticing

But perhaps being one with self is balance arriving

This journey is not to belong

But a yearning to be strong

This path is not paved with good intentions,

But rather of potential inventions

One thing about the vagabond you must know,

He belongs to no one and yet the whole world.........................

is his.

The Blue Rose's rarity

Sacred pacts down memory lane

Untouchable oath...we were insane

On the sand we ran...naked feet

Cruising oars of boats we'd greet

Up i looked upon the sky...

The moon I want I said with a sigh

He smiled and waved with a castle prepared

The way he built em ...even the waves they cared

I felt at ease...

No sudden pain

I looked at him... saw no gain

No greed , no glory

Just a simple story

Two boys we were who ran and sang

Olden times it began with a bang

We ran together on beaches plenty

Until we were both something twenty

Shells collected in our pouches alike

To hear the ocean when we like

We saw the stars gleam at night

Man we said what a sight!

But the moon was mine

For all of nine

I looked at her eagerly there

She lay with the stars who all took care

The stars invisible behind the clouds

I looked around...but not a sound

I saw my moon shining bright

Then I saw him silent and i felt a chill...a fright'

He stared at her with longing eyes

My moon he saw with bathed sighs

There I was I saw it all

The pouch with the shells they all did fall

The new box

So the first decade swept by

Took with it the innocence i held onto like a safety blanket being torn away

I am stark naked now..... My flesh visible to the world

My eyes heavy with all thats gone by..my ears deafer than before ..cause now I just don't want to listen anymore

Im tired of searching and hoping for things that elude me with a defiance any rebel would be proud of

How do I make peace with it all...

Ah to hell with it. I have survived everything thats been thrown at me so far. I will continue.

Not saying I've had it bad....but u know how it is...everyone thinks they've got it bad.

So true to that...I like to say yeah man I survived. According to the Mayans next year is our last.

If that is true then this year better be a kickass one.

Or not whatever. I have no expectations, however I will try to get what I want...not in the ways Ive used before....because if those ways were correct...I would have received what I want.

So many things puzzle me. Its a scary place standing in front of this new box. The flap is wide open and its quite empty. I have to start filling again. Yeesh. I hope I do a better , more organised job this time.

For the last box was amazing and I do not regret its contents....

But for this one I am wiser....

And assume myself to be a better packer.....

All I need now is some tape to hold the box together.

And steady hands.

The new box is empty and hence promising.