A Lion's path

Sometimes it takes a moment to put everything into perspective

Everything is right there, and yet we don't see it because we don't live in the present.

We never do. We're either busy living in the past or planning for our future.

Our present is lost to us. Its overlooked, ignored and taken for granted.

We shockingly pay attention to our present only when something really good or bad happens to us. Otherwise its just a time slot.

I think this ridiculous notion of the present being treated as a platform to get off from the old train and get on to the new one is one of our greatest mistakes, a mistake we seldom realize that we are making. So many moments I have missed out on by simply looking back and glancing forward.

I will try henceforth to appreciate the present

I will try to better myself each day

I will try to be all that I can be

I will try to live my life the way it should be

Change is constant and change can be chosen...the outcomes can be decided.

Tis never too late

Tis never too early

Tis only the beginning....so far from the end

Tis never to late...for anything that is broken to mend

Kingdoms to be created

Stories to be written

Dreams ripe for the picking

With this thought I am sticking.

This is it.

Dan Millman in The way of the peaceful warrior said-

'Where are you'?

Answer- 'Here'

'What Time is it'?

Answer- 'Now'

'What are you'?

Answer- 'This moment'

It can't end this way...Its not right. It was supposed to be different

Its easier to live in fantasy. Because you can control the outcome.

I can only assume that there is some sort of a plan here.
Some safety net that isn't visible at the moment
I hear songs about walnut trees on tuesday afternoons and feel utterly unsettled thanks to
the weird predicament I seem to find myself time and time again in.

I was going through some old e-mails recently ... they were from a different time.
A time when things that are now right were wrong and that are now wrong were right.
So this clearly shows that time travel is possible.... even if not in the way we imagine it.
Still one thing remains.... You can't go back and change anything.
Sometimes I really wonder about everything and wonder if its all some out of control play
with a relentlessly unpredictable script and pathetic direction.

The irony of it all is just lost on me. Why is that there is room only for the bad ironic situations?
Where are the good 1's? Are there good 1's?
I've never maintained a diary.... I sometimes wish I did.
It would help me realize what an idiot I have been at times and may be remind me to be careful and not make the same mistakes again. Perhaps I just have to rely on my impeccable judgment now (heh).

I have no control over what is happening around me... even if I have a fair amount of control over myself..I still can't control all the changes that I have to go through.
Acceptance they say is the first step. I hate 'them' ..whoever 'they' are...filthy know it alls.
So may be I just have to wait for certain things to happen and hope that I have enough strength to get through them when they inevitably play out.

Such is life... creates a mirage that it is your life your living....

Its easy to live in fantasy, because you can control the outcome

Trouble is I think my reality is someone else's fantasy.
My world is someone else's dream.

Bronze Medal

'Good God You've had an interesting life'
said one of my newer friends as she saw old pictures and videos.
'You seem happy'. 'You really do'.

And I was. Amidst the chaos and confusion that one experiences in their teenage
I was happy. I had my drama and I had my tragedies and yet I found that I could get through it all.
Because I had my people.

It started with 3 or 4 of them. We were tight.
We felt the world was ours to pillage.
We were untouchable.
The little band grew. We were more in number and yet connected.

I met some girls... a couple of them paved their way into my life
engraved their names in my heart for ever.

Then I met the love of my life.
I met her friends, we got along.

I left for a bit..met new people...I made more friends...the circle grew.
I came back and found I lost a few... lost a few and they were gone.
Tried to save it, I tried so hard...but they stayed gone.

I left again for a bit.
I met new people yet again.
They grew on me...one by one.
I never felt I'd feel so strongly for a bunch that way again.

Then I came back and realized things had changed..
Like they always do...
I was betrayed by a special few...
I felt abandoned
I felt neglected.
Things had changed.
The cocoon was broken.
No butterfly did fly out.

There was a time that we swore to be there
We tried our best to fix each others broken hearts
We loaned each other money to buy a sandwich
We sang and laughed and fought and cried
We sat in silence without feeling awkward
We slept , resting our heads on each others shoulders
We motivated
We poked fun
We raced
We cheered
We would never be done
Our endless conversation
Our lovely interaction
Our mobility, our rhythm
Our style, the magnificent groove
Our finishing each others sentences
Our playing pranks, our pointless worries
Our sharing of dreams
Our candid pictures and even the one's where we posed.
Our lovely childhood, Our untainted relationships
Our midnight b'day cake visits
Our pooling in for the presents
Our road trips
Our lazy afternoons

Our Stay overs

Our Adventures

Our Stories

Our Rides

Our Music

Our History
Our drinking
Our passions
Our compassion
Our complaints

Our growth.

I still hold onto memories
Those glorious days...
When the band and I were invincible

We challenged life...

Life hit back...

We didn't have a chance.

Maps

I really don't know where all this is going. Yes I know its supposed to be like that.

I'm very aware of the repercussions my decisions can have.

Lately I've begun to question everything, doubt everything...the world is a nasty place.

The funny part about all this that every time I try and deny it, someone reminds me with action

or with words.....

This is not a philosophical rant... neither is this dark romance.

This is simply about the future.

I don't know where I am going.

I am afraid of staying still.

We'r all afraid and anxious.

Nowadays everyone seems like a stranger to me.

My ideas about the one's closest to me has changed...drastically.

Ive begun to see the real them or may be the new them.

They probably see the new me and may be some don't see at all...

But I wonder.....I wonder what I see?

I wonder if I can make it...I wonder if I can achieve everything I want to.

Its a tall order. My imagination is to blame....My imagination is the fuel to my dreams.

But what do I do? Do I blame my imagination for raising the bar for myself?

Or should I blame the ego?

The dream has been dream't , the starting line is defined.

Do I have it in me?

Can I achieve what I want?

I wish I had a booklet with a map, marking my destination.

But thats wishful thinking. So many roads I can travel on... and may be most of them are the wrong one's.

How do I identify the right ones?

How do I choose?

Where will I be 10 years from now?

I know where I'd like to be.

I just don't know how to get there...

And may be thats just what its all about...

May be maps aren't found...May be they're created during the journey...

But what do I know.

Penny for my thoughts

Everyday I wake up different. Every night I feel the same.

Time- Our audience

Hello friend..How is it that you always have your hands on your face ?
Is what I would ask any blooming clock.

Time has always been around.
Since forever and eternity
An audience to creation
A witness to destruction
A passerby in all our lives.

Time has watched us
a resilient observer
Time is impatient.
Never still.
Time is restless.
Time flies..without wings
Time runs...at a steady pace
Time our companion, with us every moment.
Time sees us at our worst and at the very best.
Time was with us when we were born
Time will be with us in the end

Time will see us through
Time will mock us too.
Time will dance
Time will escape
Time our friend

The friend who never waits.

I wonder if that's why he always has his hands on his face ...
May be he's just ashamed...

Boy and Girl of old

Boy and girl of old meet and have a chat
For hours and hours they spoke...for hours and hours they sat
'Wassup ? How u been?' she asks ..'want some candy...?'
'Sure' he says..'thanks ..im fine...doin dandy'
'Old habits die hard?' she suggests naughtily...
I guess ..says he ...oh so haughtily

Throw some memories in the mix and you have a party
Paint them as a portrait..you may call them arty...
'So..how's he doing..lil o'l what's his name'...from her the question came...
'Fine, fine' he acknowledges ..'doing fine...he's ok'.. says he..'just the same'
'So here's where I am with love' she says opening up...
'He nods and shares his romantic tales now bending to grap a cup..

They share , they care, they talk , laugh
They hold a conversation with brilliant ease...altogether half n' half.
He's glad he came
She feels the same
They've had their share of fights
They snapped around and cut each other off like a pair of kites..

But they came together yet again..oh no they couldn't stay away...
The kites they learn't to sway
They came together
the boy
the girl
and so their story stays.

The boy and girl of old..
they dwell in the same fold..

She said to him 'we'll meet again..meet me soon..hurry up..'
The boy agreed..he felt relief...she had him at wassup.