The new box

So the first decade swept by

Took with it the innocence i held onto like a safety blanket being torn away

I am stark naked now..... My flesh visible to the world

My eyes heavy with all thats gone by..my ears deafer than before ..cause now I just don't want to listen anymore

Im tired of searching and hoping for things that elude me with a defiance any rebel would be proud of

How do I make peace with it all...

Ah to hell with it. I have survived everything thats been thrown at me so far. I will continue.

Not saying I've had it bad....but u know how it is...everyone thinks they've got it bad.

So true to that...I like to say yeah man I survived. According to the Mayans next year is our last.

If that is true then this year better be a kickass one.

Or not whatever. I have no expectations, however I will try to get what I want...not in the ways Ive used before....because if those ways were correct...I would have received what I want.

So many things puzzle me. Its a scary place standing in front of this new box. The flap is wide open and its quite empty. I have to start filling again. Yeesh. I hope I do a better , more organised job this time.

For the last box was amazing and I do not regret its contents....

But for this one I am wiser....

And assume myself to be a better packer.....

All I need now is some tape to hold the box together.

And steady hands.

The new box is empty and hence promising.

The hardest part of ending is starting again....

This is not the end

This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear.

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control....

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go...

I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so...

I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And i don't even know what kind of things I've said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending Is starting again!!

All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what i haven't got...

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violet rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em
(Holding on to what i haven't got)

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear

Holding on to what i haven't got

Happy New Year (2011)

Thank you Linkin Park.

Christmas Lights

I shiver and stalk

My eyes chase memories

A decade has gone

A treasure chest with golden bones

Makes it all intriguing

This drama called life

Time travel makes me woozy

The cold Christmas night

and hot chocolate companion

Distant shrieks of kids chasing one another

Laughter at their heels , shadowing them like a lost puppy

My lucky night..... I hear carolers singing

At once I see faces, my mind broadcasting

They are familiar and yet unknown

Conversations stale.. frequent efforts to keep it real

Everything has a shelf life

Then I see a Christmas tree and I stand distracted

The colors and lights hold my sight

I'm reminded of several other Christmases

Nights much like these .... only those were nights with a different clan

They are still around somewhere

But today we stare at different trees

And we are ok with it.

I see a man in a santa suit hiding the brown behind fake white beard...but the kids his audience

take his act in....they appreciate his person for all that they believe him to be

I see them smile and I'm reminded once again of times like these...when we all had the ability to see good and appreciate good together.

We still do and can.

On every Christmas I take stock...

And on every Christmas I make promises to myself...

On this Christmas I intend to actually follow through

And as I make my way home...I feel warm in the cold silent night...

And these Christmas lights on these Christmas nights remind and distract ...as always..

Merry Christmas.

Under the moonlight

A nomad runs on the shells and sand

A parachute starts descent and prepares to land

Plastic matter corrupting the earth

Hush lil baby you create your worth

Why is monday blue?

Instead of being new

Why do we dance, you and I on broken glass?

Come on, it could last.

But would you wince

If i didnt meet you since

Those days under the moonlight

When all was still

like the water and our will

when the moonlight rippled the ocean floor

How is it that friends become strangers?

How does one sense danger

I could lie to you and tell you its better this way

Agree with you because i must

Even pretend to not put you first

But you would catch me

Under the moonlight...when you see me cleary and I am mesmerized

The starfish on the sand....

prove on earth, alas the stars land

Our story is fairy tale

Powerful as the sea and the gale

We aren't weak , but distracted

My brain finds you...looks for your image...

Under the moonlight your aura has spillage

How do I contain?

How do I preserve?

Moonlight dances

The stupid heart prances

For tonight we are not kings and queens

We are vagabonds...our foolish hearts wandering.

And under this moonlight I crash and fall

Holding unto sands and shells et all

and as I lay under this moonlight

and as the waves graze my skin

and sea shells give me the silent sea's call

I'm reminded once more ....of the magic of it all.

This moonlight beckons

my craziness justified....it reckons .

Harry Potter- The boy who's special?

Recently someone asked me whats so special about Harry?

Others have also wondered out loud. Time and time again through the 7 books that have created history...a lot of my friends have asked me whats so great about this guy? Why is he the main character. He's not like a big guy , he's like this scrawny lil kid who out of pure dumb luck survives the relentless murderous pursuit of a wizard who is so dark and feared that people won't dare speak his name. Voldemort himself said these things aloud in the graveyard in HP and the Goblet of Fire. He himself credited his most formidable opponent as someone with no special qualities.

Usually the most prominent character or the protagonist of any book/ sitcom/ movie is portrayed as-

Really good looking (a certain sparkly vampire and former potter cast member comes to mind) or dangerous and mysterious (Batman) or invulnerable and larger than life (superman) or incredibly cool (spidey) or extremely rich (iron man) and so on and so forth.

What then was Harry's draw?

Harry was definitely not the best at magic in his class. That was Hermione .

The reason why Harry Potter as a character is fascinating for me is because he struggles under the immense pressure of constant expectations, unparalleled fame since when he was a baby for a feat he had little to nothing to do with and death hovering over his head .

He still somehow manages to appreciate the small things in life that all of us take for granted-

Family & Friendship

School

Home

and kindness

Harry is special mind you. He is the most appropriate protagonist because he has the most heart. The strongest presence of mind and a ridiculous power of will which i believe is also one of the reasons he is able to conjure one of the most powerful patronuses there are which on one occasion fought off a 100 dementors. His presence of mind in difficult situations is what sets him apart. He may not be the smartest, but he is definitely most resourceful when backed into a corner. A boy who has been subjected to various trauma and handed fame that he did not care for yet somehow finds the time to find happiness in simply spending time with his best mates. He doesn't dwell on the past nor does he waste time feeing sorry for himself. Sure his past haunts him...but more often than not it further motivates him. His bravery and his choices are what make him the ideal hero. His choice to not go after the elder wand and instead go after thr horcruxes is something I find admirable. Even though Ron Weasely keeps prodding and insisting that they go after the wand he says they should get to the horcruxes first. Driven by duty. Clearly

He is also an extremely able leader. The way he orchestrates Dumbledore's army is admirable. He is also pretty darn good at dueling mind you. Well above average. A fantastic flyer and seeker and that everyone knows. He is an average kid at the end of the day who may not be the best of the best...but has more heart, more will, more courage, more sense of right and justice than any other character. He maintains a perfect balance between being practical and yet just. Usually the two do not go hand in hand. He even makes the ultimate sacrifice for the people he loves. His ability to deduce things (may be not as technically good as hermione) is quite amazing.

Harry Potter may not be an Edward Cullen. But in my book he's more hero and special than fang boy could ever hope to be.

We could all learn a thing or two from Harry... Like when life seems bad, gloomy and unfair...remember that there is always hope for happiness...

EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!!

Unforgiven

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

I take this key (never free)
And I bury it (never me) in you
Because you're unforgiven too.

Ladies and Gents- 'The Bird'

So listen up ladies...there's this situation thats come to my attention...rather has been brought to my attention. Its a little disturbing and I am told that only I can fix it. This observation comes from the lazies who like to pass the responsibility / buck.

I suppose its easy for people to assume..that I will undoubtedly take up the cause.

String on my cape and swoop to the rescue.

But heres an interesting fact. I have my own crisis.

Well I'm glad. I don't need a superhero to come pull my butt outta the pan. I have accepted the responsibility for my own resurrection.

The subject around who this particular issue deals with... has in the past indulged in the same reckless , ignorant pursuit. Well wouldn't blame the subject. It's difficult being stupid. I know..... I've been stupid.

The world looks like a massive playground with innumerable toys and merry go around's to play with. tsk. The stupid folk do not realize that the board which says 'private property' is lying flat on the wet grass with muddy footprints of kids all upon it. Well just cause its knocked over doesn't mean it don't exist cause believe you me...somebody's gonna be wielding a shotgun while blurting colorful nothings and perhaps tripping over the first step of their trailer park van in the process.

Lets just put it this way... I might be able to fix it. But fuck... I've done it before and paid for it. Sticking my nose where it don't belong. The thin grease of shit I contracted while pulling back still stinks. Blech. So yeh like I said I got my own shit and the cape ladies and gents lately has done nothing but chocked me. So while I gasp for my breath and watch the ridiculous situation unfolding in front of me.... I for a fleeting moment am tempted or perhaps was tempted to ride my white horse with my sword swinging in my steady hands. But ......but ......but.... for the sake of my own sanity...well being...peace of mind.........

I'm a sit this one out bitches.